I have tried the same thing many many times expecting different results, guess what, it doesn't work. So I am trying something different, I am going to document my journey to loose 10 pounds. This is my first goal. Today I was good at work, and struggled just after leaving work, so when I got home I did some exercises for 20 plus minutes, Kettle bell swings and squat lunges. I thought about it all day so I was set to do it.
I do feel better afterwards. I need to take care of my health.
So my beginning weight this morning was 197 pounds. I will log my struggles and victories here so that I can see what I am going through. I am trying something different to get different results.
Day 1.
Monday, August 15, 2011
Monday, August 1, 2011
Time is changing
Today as I look over just the last year, so many things have changed in my life. As of today I can say I am truly happy with what I can see what the future holds for me. I have hope and joy with the woman I love. She is everything that I could want in a person. I find myself day dreaming of what our future would be like. I can't wait till we are living together. The days we will have to do the things we enjoy, sharing, just sitting together and soaking up the sun on the porch. Just being able to reach over and touch one another would be a great thing.
I can say I am a blessed man. I have changed since I have met her and I can see other things that are changing and will change once we get to live together. I look forward to holding her in my arms, feeling her warmth, listening to her talk. I can talk with her so openly because I feel that she does not judge me when I share with her. I feel her love and that she wants the best for me.
To me I have found my treasure. I am a lucky man.
My days ahead are a gift I will get to enjoy one day at a time.
I am smiling. :-)
I can say I am a blessed man. I have changed since I have met her and I can see other things that are changing and will change once we get to live together. I look forward to holding her in my arms, feeling her warmth, listening to her talk. I can talk with her so openly because I feel that she does not judge me when I share with her. I feel her love and that she wants the best for me.
To me I have found my treasure. I am a lucky man.
My days ahead are a gift I will get to enjoy one day at a time.
I am smiling. :-)
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Sunday, September 12, 2010
being a parent
I look back at how I was raised and what my parents was like and I believe I can say that I did not learn very much on how to be a good parent. I am not saying I blame them for what I did not do right it is just that they were not a very good example. So I am left with what I am and my character on how to handle my children as they were growing up.
I know there are countless books out there on how to be a parent but that wasn't something I looked into. I just went with what I thought was the right thing to do. Plus add a second person with you influencing how that is done and you end up with what you have.
So I sit here today trying to figure out how to get my kids to the end of high school and on their own. I think the job of a parent will never end, and I don't want it to. But I do want my kids to succeed in life. As a parent we all hope that. Have I done a good job time will only tell. The one thing I want them to be able to say is that I tried to tell and show them what was right and wrong and that they new everyday that I loved them.
Are my kids perfect, no they are not, just like their parents. i pray that one day thay will see how the choices we make affect those around us and what tomorrow will look like.
I want more for my kids I would like to blame others for what my kids are lacking but I can't. So what do I do now with them at the age they are. I try everyday to show and tell them what I want from hem and try real hard to hold them to it.
What I know now about parenting I wish I new ten years ago but I didn't then so I press on. I will continue to believe that they will turn out OK in the end.
I know I am rambling but my kids weigh heavy on my heart, they are part of me and always will be.
I think as a parent we all want the same thing, our kids to be the best they can be in life.
I know there are countless books out there on how to be a parent but that wasn't something I looked into. I just went with what I thought was the right thing to do. Plus add a second person with you influencing how that is done and you end up with what you have.
So I sit here today trying to figure out how to get my kids to the end of high school and on their own. I think the job of a parent will never end, and I don't want it to. But I do want my kids to succeed in life. As a parent we all hope that. Have I done a good job time will only tell. The one thing I want them to be able to say is that I tried to tell and show them what was right and wrong and that they new everyday that I loved them.
Are my kids perfect, no they are not, just like their parents. i pray that one day thay will see how the choices we make affect those around us and what tomorrow will look like.
I want more for my kids I would like to blame others for what my kids are lacking but I can't. So what do I do now with them at the age they are. I try everyday to show and tell them what I want from hem and try real hard to hold them to it.
What I know now about parenting I wish I new ten years ago but I didn't then so I press on. I will continue to believe that they will turn out OK in the end.
I know I am rambling but my kids weigh heavy on my heart, they are part of me and always will be.
I think as a parent we all want the same thing, our kids to be the best they can be in life.
Monday, August 16, 2010
Wanting
I sometimes wish I was like other people, full of energy, always on top of things, checkbook balanced and with a great lookout on life. I seem to always be wanting to have the balance in my life, and when I think i get there then something always happens. I guess i am on the down right now. I do have something or should i say someone in my life that helps me stay on top. I just get sometimes not likeing where i am at. I wish i was through the things i am dealing with the things going through my life. I know I will get through it all, just some days seem tougher than others. I know others go through the same.
I am getting there. I am just having a down day. Maybe I am tired or just I am thinking too much about money and trying to stay on my budget, which is hard when you have so much going out. I know I am not the only one to have that problem....
I just miss my girlfriend. She lives far away and there are alot of times I wish i could just walk over to her place and get a hug and a kiss......
Being me is ok, I don;t know what it would be like someone else, so I accept me, just having one of those days i guess.
I am lucky and blessed to have what I do. So on a possitive note I can smile. A few more days and I get to see my love. I can't wait to see her again.
I feel like i am babbling but what is this blog for. I need to write more often.....
A challenging day
I am getting there. I am just having a down day. Maybe I am tired or just I am thinking too much about money and trying to stay on my budget, which is hard when you have so much going out. I know I am not the only one to have that problem....
I just miss my girlfriend. She lives far away and there are alot of times I wish i could just walk over to her place and get a hug and a kiss......
Being me is ok, I don;t know what it would be like someone else, so I accept me, just having one of those days i guess.
I am lucky and blessed to have what I do. So on a possitive note I can smile. A few more days and I get to see my love. I can't wait to see her again.
I feel like i am babbling but what is this blog for. I need to write more often.....
A challenging day
Monday, July 19, 2010
It has Been A while, Here I am again finding my way
Here I am with my kids at 1 in the afternoon and them still sleeping. It has been a while since I wrote here. A few things that still go round and round in my head, 1 why do I continually go up in down in my emotions, can I ever reach a balance in my life. 2. When I do reach that balance what will it be like.
Depression seems to come and go as it pleases, and I seem to have no control over it. I would love to grab hold of it and stuff it in a garbage disposal and watch it go down the drain.
I have tried pills and it don't seem to help. I try to watch it coming on and sometimes I get ahead of it and manage to keep it off. But then it seems to sneak up on me and mess with me for a while. It doesn't stay very long and it is not every day but I have to deal with it.
I dream of being like some people I know that don't seem to deal with depression in their lives and it seems like they got it good. I am not a basket case that is for sure just small bouts of it I have to deal with. It gets old....
Having a good relationship helps me allot, especially when I know I can talk about anything and there is no repercussions.
Over the years I forgot who I was, I let it go, the things I like to do, and It seems like I settled to be who I am today. Now today I am trying to get back what I was and wanting to be.
Why did I share all this, ? I want to get on with life, I want a new beginning maybe, a fresh start to be who I want to be even at 43 turning 44 :-). I am finding out honesty is a good thing, and having the strength to share it and be it is a value I want in my life.
I look around and I know if I have the courage I can make my life into anything I want it to be. I have to find that strength..............I want to hang onto the good things I have now and ad too them.
Or maybe I just need to learn to handle my life with its ups and downs better, there is always a way to do it, always a way through if we look hard enough and try enough.
So this is me on a Sunday early afternoon.
I know I am not the only person in the world who has days like I do, some of you have better and some have worse, so I am not feeling sorry for myself just like everyone else wanting to make my life and those around me better....So here is to making life better for myself and those that touch my life....
Depression seems to come and go as it pleases, and I seem to have no control over it. I would love to grab hold of it and stuff it in a garbage disposal and watch it go down the drain.
I have tried pills and it don't seem to help. I try to watch it coming on and sometimes I get ahead of it and manage to keep it off. But then it seems to sneak up on me and mess with me for a while. It doesn't stay very long and it is not every day but I have to deal with it.
I dream of being like some people I know that don't seem to deal with depression in their lives and it seems like they got it good. I am not a basket case that is for sure just small bouts of it I have to deal with. It gets old....
Having a good relationship helps me allot, especially when I know I can talk about anything and there is no repercussions.
Over the years I forgot who I was, I let it go, the things I like to do, and It seems like I settled to be who I am today. Now today I am trying to get back what I was and wanting to be.
Why did I share all this, ? I want to get on with life, I want a new beginning maybe, a fresh start to be who I want to be even at 43 turning 44 :-). I am finding out honesty is a good thing, and having the strength to share it and be it is a value I want in my life.
I look around and I know if I have the courage I can make my life into anything I want it to be. I have to find that strength..............I want to hang onto the good things I have now and ad too them.
Or maybe I just need to learn to handle my life with its ups and downs better, there is always a way to do it, always a way through if we look hard enough and try enough.
So this is me on a Sunday early afternoon.
I know I am not the only person in the world who has days like I do, some of you have better and some have worse, so I am not feeling sorry for myself just like everyone else wanting to make my life and those around me better....So here is to making life better for myself and those that touch my life....
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Spring
It is now spring and the weather is showing us what we have been waiting for all winter, warmth and the sun. I like the spring, there are so many things you can associate with spring that pertain to life.
For me spring this year is about new beginnings, health, being able to breath in freshness. I see the potential of what a warm day with sun can do. What a good day with the right ingredients can bring about in one's life. For me that is what I encourage myself with, that right recipe for a successful life in the here and now.
Spring is the perfect time to see those things, more so than New Years where people make resolutions, I think the resolutions should come in the spring when we can draw upon nature for the strength of vision to encourage us. When we can see change all around us then it is easier to bring it about in ourselves. Why not take advantaged of this, I know I am going to do my best to do so.
We dream of so many things, to do things, to accomplish things, and it seems to me that we wait until a certain time to get to them. I have an idea, why not use spring and all its beauty, warmth, newness and take it all in and let it fill you with what you need to see that change is possible. Something new is what we can have because it is all around us. New beginnings, freshness, new growth. Whatever you want to take from what is going on around you in nature. Use it to your advantage.
I know this spring is different for me then others I have been through. Things are changing for the better in my life. I see things different, the possibilities, the hopes that are there for me to grab hold of. I like what I see and it makes me smile. I like smiling and I hope you do to. It is good for the soul.
Enjoy Spring, it was meant to be that way.
For me spring this year is about new beginnings, health, being able to breath in freshness. I see the potential of what a warm day with sun can do. What a good day with the right ingredients can bring about in one's life. For me that is what I encourage myself with, that right recipe for a successful life in the here and now.
Spring is the perfect time to see those things, more so than New Years where people make resolutions, I think the resolutions should come in the spring when we can draw upon nature for the strength of vision to encourage us. When we can see change all around us then it is easier to bring it about in ourselves. Why not take advantaged of this, I know I am going to do my best to do so.
We dream of so many things, to do things, to accomplish things, and it seems to me that we wait until a certain time to get to them. I have an idea, why not use spring and all its beauty, warmth, newness and take it all in and let it fill you with what you need to see that change is possible. Something new is what we can have because it is all around us. New beginnings, freshness, new growth. Whatever you want to take from what is going on around you in nature. Use it to your advantage.
I know this spring is different for me then others I have been through. Things are changing for the better in my life. I see things different, the possibilities, the hopes that are there for me to grab hold of. I like what I see and it makes me smile. I like smiling and I hope you do to. It is good for the soul.
Enjoy Spring, it was meant to be that way.
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