Learning

Not everyone is perfect, that should be no surprise to anyone. Well when I look at myself I can see that. What I see is that I can be more negative than positive. OK, something to work on. I get scared when I see something that may take some effort to bring about the change so therefore avoidance wants to kick in. OK another Item that needs working on and that one also with the previous I am working on.
This other thing I haven't quite figured out yet, it is inticipation in a relationship. this one has me baffled. Does it have to do with mind reading or something LOL. I know to anticipate the needs of the other or expectation, I stumble on this most times, maybe it is because I am thinking of myself to much and stay stuck there, or I am not being considerate enough, I don't know which or any. But I will not stop trying to figure this one out.
I have spent too many years afraid to let out what is inside that I think I have created a safe haven for my thoughts and I don't let them out even when they are given a safe place to come out in. A tough shell to crack. Does that mean I won't try to crack it, NO. I have chisel and hammer and ready to go I even have swung at a few times already. this scares the shit out of me because I am not use to be around someone who really wants to hear and see what I am really all about.
Fear is a crippling thing but everyday that goes by I find more strength to combat this fear and to stand up for me and what I feel and want. I choose now to look forward with a positive attitude for a better tomorrow.
I am finished living in the past with the fears and the excuses, I have reasons now and Ideas about tomorrow. I know I can, I know I will succeed so therefore ahead I go.

I want to open up and be the person I know I am. I will not stop trying to go there.........