Starting a new year

The year is almost over. A new one is now upon us and it causes me to stop and think of what has gone on in my life to this day getting ready to enter a new year. There has been some things that have happened in my life this past year that have been life changing, interesting and surprising.
I have come to the conclusion this year that what I had in the past as being married is now turned into a friendship. The marriage relationship part of that is gone, knowing this has set me free to look ahead, this is a good feeling, not that the relationship ended but that I know it won't begin again. That may sound strange but when something breaks and there is no fixing it then you have to accept it so that you can move on. I have arrived there in my own eyes I am sure. Others still may see some things in me that are lingering that indicate some feelings but all I can say is I am growing as a person.....
Surprising this year was that I met someone that at first you would say we are from opposite ends of things, but when we are together the light in me shines out. I didn't think I would have that in my life. She is great, we are still learning about each other but there is definitely love there. And with that I am smiling and looking forward to discover what lays ahead for the next year. To me she is worth it.
The interesting part of this year is how when you start to go through changes and people who have been there say you will go through some things a certain way and you deny it. Guess what, one should listen and look back at oneself and realize it does happen to you too. I have been there and now say to others watch it you will have to deal with certain things and don't think you won't have to it is part of the changes that go on. I guess it is the healing process we need.
Oh the challenges life throws at you and the ones you put on yourself will always be there. I am lucky to have a woman in my life that is patient enough and loves me enough to help me see certain parts of my character that needs improving. I use to hate being told those things but today I welcome them. I see it as a way to improve who I am. I am still growing as a man even though today I am 43. Growth I believe should always be part of ones life.
I am glad for today with what I have and don't have. With the problems and with the successes.
When I choose right I feel right, so I guess I need to think before choosing each day so that I can feel right.........

So the new year is knocking on my front door, I want to choose it right and plan on doing so, tomorrow is not here yet but preparing for it that I can do, who knows what new smiles I will have with the one I love.


Looking ahead.......................