I talked about Core values or beliefs before, here I want to try to continue on with the same thoughts.
The things we set our sights on in life reflect who we are in some fashion. You see what we are focused on can reveal our nature and desires. We will lean in the direction of our focus. If we stay focused long enough in one direction the other things in our life will start to bend in that direction.
Let's say a relationship is the focus, look at what your desire is, and then look at the other things in your life that has altered in the slightest of ways because of that relationship. Now those changes in other things may not have been deliberate but changes have happened.
We tend to focus on what we want consciously or sub-consciously. The desires are there, we all have them. We may act upon them or not, but when we do with any type of energy other things shift in our lives to make way for what is going to happen. We will get what we want when we focus on the desire we have.
Those desires we focus on for any length of time will become a crucial part of our daily lives. It will permeate the very fabric of what is called you as a whole. We will make things happen to achieve that desire sometimes to our detriment. When we look at ourselves with these desires it may be very hard to see the changes that have taken place because of the focus we have.
These changes are seen by others but not always by us. We feel that something has changed but not necessarily how big of one may have happened. This reveals what is going on in our lives and what we are like, what is hiding in the insides of our being.
I think that as we examine these aspects of who we are we get an understanding which I believe will help us achieve a balance in our lives. Our core being is the center from which all else flows, the emotions, actions, thoughts, desires.....etc. Understanding for me is a part of who I am, I have a desire to understand where I am, where I might have come from and it will point to where I am going. Not necessarily control over the destination but the process of how I get to where my desires are directing me is somewhat in my control. If I choose to recognize the process of changes that is happening to me I will be much better equipped to handle those changes.
So I continue to look inward and outward. I look inward for understanding myself and I look outward to how I relate to those around me, especially to those I love. How I am in my interactions with them. I see as time goes by that what I use to be and what I am now is much different. I refuse to become what others want or think I should be. I want to become me, and I do that by accepting who I am and what I am about. I will never achieve the balance in life that I seek by compromising who I am. So I stand for me, who I am and I hope that the person I am becoming is something that someone can love for being me.
Just another thought put to text.
Monday, July 27, 2009
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Core of Who We Are
I have been thinking a lot lately about what makes me me, or should I say what makes us who we are. What lies at the core of our being that guides us to be and do the things that make up what others see and experience through us.
Our behavior, actions, words, attitudes, mannerisms, the way we hold ourselves, the people we hang around or surround ourselves with, the jobs we have, the people we date, the way we dress, the things we have in our possession, the way we talk (our language or quality of), etc...
All those things and more reveal different aspects of who we are. So what is it that influences the choices we make? The actions we take in different circumstances, the behaviors we expose to those around us all come from somewhere.
I think one of the things we need to try to understand is what is at the core of who we are? How can I explain this. I think I will try from a Faith stand point. Let me try this.
Religion at its heart is a handful of rules that you need to abide by in order to satisfy the said denomination or church if you will, to be a said member or associate. You follow their beliefs and you fit in. You are in essence a member of the said group. Your behaviors will line up with that. I know I simplified it big time. Please don't take offence.
Faith on the other hand has at its core a trinity of values that bypasses rules or obligations. It is at its core the following: Forgiveness, Grace, Mercy. You have this at the core of your belief system then all else falls into place. There is no obligation, no rule you have to follow, no title or membership you have to belong to. It is a core belief, a inner guide to what you do in life, not because you have to but because you WANT TO.
That is what is called faith. A faith in a God that offers those very things to those that love Him. OK, I may have ruffled some feathers, please hear me out. Faith or belief that is born out of love will behave differently then something that is forced or pressed upon you to do. Your actions and behaviors will be seen differently, noticed and received by others with an acceptance or lack of by the reasons we do things.
I have simplified it to a basic level, and it is this that is what I am trying to achieve. If we can simplify ourselves in how we look at it then we have a better chance to understand ourselves, who we are and why we do the things we do. In this we can understand others better not only our self.
You see that what we do we do for a reason whether known or unknown. A saying is this "We believe therefore we Do". What is a relationship that has no love in it? One that will die or end eventually. But one that has love in it will last because the difference is a want and desire than an obligation. At the core of who we are is a want and a desire to be who we are. We may not like what we see at times but never the less it is there.
I want to know to a degree why I am the way I am. I know some out there just don't really care to know those things. But what I am after in life is an understanding to the human nature, my human nature in why I choose the way I do, why I act the way I do in order to make myself a better person. In this I will achieve my hearts desire, not for someone else but for me. I feel that it is a life quest. So here I write to act as a guide to my inner thoughts to expose in print what is stirring on the inside.
I believe there is a greatness in all of us, a greatness that can be exposed if we choose to search for it, a purpose that is greater than what we know, one that will make others better around us. This is what I search for.
I know I bring up pieces of faith in my writings because it is a core part of who I am. I am not against or look down to anyone of different beliefs than me. A person chooses their own way for their own reasons. It is these reasons that I seek to understand. What makes us different but the same.
This is a thought I will continue to write in the next installment..........
A work in progress.
James
Our behavior, actions, words, attitudes, mannerisms, the way we hold ourselves, the people we hang around or surround ourselves with, the jobs we have, the people we date, the way we dress, the things we have in our possession, the way we talk (our language or quality of), etc...
All those things and more reveal different aspects of who we are. So what is it that influences the choices we make? The actions we take in different circumstances, the behaviors we expose to those around us all come from somewhere.
I think one of the things we need to try to understand is what is at the core of who we are? How can I explain this. I think I will try from a Faith stand point. Let me try this.
Religion at its heart is a handful of rules that you need to abide by in order to satisfy the said denomination or church if you will, to be a said member or associate. You follow their beliefs and you fit in. You are in essence a member of the said group. Your behaviors will line up with that. I know I simplified it big time. Please don't take offence.
Faith on the other hand has at its core a trinity of values that bypasses rules or obligations. It is at its core the following: Forgiveness, Grace, Mercy. You have this at the core of your belief system then all else falls into place. There is no obligation, no rule you have to follow, no title or membership you have to belong to. It is a core belief, a inner guide to what you do in life, not because you have to but because you WANT TO.
That is what is called faith. A faith in a God that offers those very things to those that love Him. OK, I may have ruffled some feathers, please hear me out. Faith or belief that is born out of love will behave differently then something that is forced or pressed upon you to do. Your actions and behaviors will be seen differently, noticed and received by others with an acceptance or lack of by the reasons we do things.
I have simplified it to a basic level, and it is this that is what I am trying to achieve. If we can simplify ourselves in how we look at it then we have a better chance to understand ourselves, who we are and why we do the things we do. In this we can understand others better not only our self.
You see that what we do we do for a reason whether known or unknown. A saying is this "We believe therefore we Do". What is a relationship that has no love in it? One that will die or end eventually. But one that has love in it will last because the difference is a want and desire than an obligation. At the core of who we are is a want and a desire to be who we are. We may not like what we see at times but never the less it is there.
I want to know to a degree why I am the way I am. I know some out there just don't really care to know those things. But what I am after in life is an understanding to the human nature, my human nature in why I choose the way I do, why I act the way I do in order to make myself a better person. In this I will achieve my hearts desire, not for someone else but for me. I feel that it is a life quest. So here I write to act as a guide to my inner thoughts to expose in print what is stirring on the inside.
I believe there is a greatness in all of us, a greatness that can be exposed if we choose to search for it, a purpose that is greater than what we know, one that will make others better around us. This is what I search for.
I know I bring up pieces of faith in my writings because it is a core part of who I am. I am not against or look down to anyone of different beliefs than me. A person chooses their own way for their own reasons. It is these reasons that I seek to understand. What makes us different but the same.
This is a thought I will continue to write in the next installment..........
A work in progress.
James
Friday, July 17, 2009
Arrival
Have you you ever been on the precipice of a decision. You look at it and it seems like it is an impossibility. That once you make it you are committed to the changes it brings about. I am talking about relationships in this instance.
Here I am looking out over my life and am faced with the decision to commit myself to a relationship in a way that says you have my heart. I know guys in general don't talk that way it is not macho. Well the hell with the macho image. I don't care about that. What I care about is where is my heart.
Like what was shared by someone on this blog that I need to cherish the past good memories and hang on to them because they are part of who I am. Those good memories and good times I cherish and will never let go. I am a better man for them. And while saying that I must include the bad memories, though they literally gave me grey hair and a heartache I will say I have grown into a better man for them. Do I say I am thankful for those experiences, I would of rather not of gone through that part of my life. But since I have then I must try to make good from them. This is what I have chosen in my life. I have no hatred or hard feelings from that time. Not now.
My heart has been touched by someone special. When you get touched like that it is hard to explain how it affects you. I can say that I am a lucky man because this is the second time in my life this has happened. Most people don't even get once.
So with that all said what have I decided to do? You want to know don't you? :-)
Well, I will say it would be foolish of me to let her get away and I am no fool. Good things and good people come into one's life a few times and when they do they change you. So hanging on to the good in life no matter what package it comes in is important. Life is hard enough as it is. I have good people in my life, my family they are wonderful and make me smile. Life to this point has been a blessing if you look at the right way and still is. Yes life has changed for me quite a bit actually but I am not running away and complaining that I have a few bruises from the experience. There are other people out there who have gone through bigger scrapes then me and have a story and a smile to share.
I am ready for the new chapter to begin in my life. I know it has its challenges but life without challenges is dull to say the least isn't it? Change for me like I said is not easy but here we go right into a world of change one step at a time...........
Do I know how things will work out for me, no. But not knowing what tomorrows holds is the mystery that makes us wonder and dream and aspire to bigger and better things. We get creative when faced with the challenges of life. We step up and try to make things happen, to get around, over, through the obstacles of life. When we do we see what the possibilities are. No one can say if a relationship will stand the test of time, not knowing shouldn't stop us from trying. Not trying is the greater evil if you will. How can one win a race if he never enters the race an runs it. We are better people when at least we try and fail then to never have tried in the first place. That is where lies the never knowing.............not giving it a chance.
This is how I feel.
So the beginning has begun.......
Here I am looking out over my life and am faced with the decision to commit myself to a relationship in a way that says you have my heart. I know guys in general don't talk that way it is not macho. Well the hell with the macho image. I don't care about that. What I care about is where is my heart.
Like what was shared by someone on this blog that I need to cherish the past good memories and hang on to them because they are part of who I am. Those good memories and good times I cherish and will never let go. I am a better man for them. And while saying that I must include the bad memories, though they literally gave me grey hair and a heartache I will say I have grown into a better man for them. Do I say I am thankful for those experiences, I would of rather not of gone through that part of my life. But since I have then I must try to make good from them. This is what I have chosen in my life. I have no hatred or hard feelings from that time. Not now.
My heart has been touched by someone special. When you get touched like that it is hard to explain how it affects you. I can say that I am a lucky man because this is the second time in my life this has happened. Most people don't even get once.
So with that all said what have I decided to do? You want to know don't you? :-)
Well, I will say it would be foolish of me to let her get away and I am no fool. Good things and good people come into one's life a few times and when they do they change you. So hanging on to the good in life no matter what package it comes in is important. Life is hard enough as it is. I have good people in my life, my family they are wonderful and make me smile. Life to this point has been a blessing if you look at the right way and still is. Yes life has changed for me quite a bit actually but I am not running away and complaining that I have a few bruises from the experience. There are other people out there who have gone through bigger scrapes then me and have a story and a smile to share.
I am ready for the new chapter to begin in my life. I know it has its challenges but life without challenges is dull to say the least isn't it? Change for me like I said is not easy but here we go right into a world of change one step at a time...........
Do I know how things will work out for me, no. But not knowing what tomorrows holds is the mystery that makes us wonder and dream and aspire to bigger and better things. We get creative when faced with the challenges of life. We step up and try to make things happen, to get around, over, through the obstacles of life. When we do we see what the possibilities are. No one can say if a relationship will stand the test of time, not knowing shouldn't stop us from trying. Not trying is the greater evil if you will. How can one win a race if he never enters the race an runs it. We are better people when at least we try and fail then to never have tried in the first place. That is where lies the never knowing.............not giving it a chance.
This is how I feel.
So the beginning has begun.......
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Wondering
I sit here wondering about what to do next. Have you ever been there, faced with choices and not sure how to take the next step. You want to but not sure when and how. Trying to figure out how your life will change once you do. I know it all sounds so ambiguious at best with no details of what I am talking about. Well, let's keep it that way for now. I just want to talk about the situation not the content.
You feel it in your chest that you want to make a decision but afraid to admit it to yourself that it would be good to do so. For me the decision would mean I accept the past as it is and welcome the future as it may be. WOW that sounded like it came from a sermon in church....weird.
But anyway, the feelings it all brings on is all over the spectrum of emotions. Change for me is hard, I have done a lot better since I have put my mind to it but it comes at a price. That price is letting go letting what happens happen (In the church world it would go like this "Let go and Let God"). In other words leave in God's hands to work out the future and let go of the past because it can't help you anymore.
We don't know what tomorrow holds, we want certain things to be there but it is not a guarantee for us. What we do have is now, and what we do with now will eventually lead into tomorrow. So without knowing how tomorrow will unfold I like to try to hang on to today. That doesn't always work, because today's stuff might not work tomorrow so therefore change is needed to face tomorrow. Yuk....that word, at least it is not a four letter word. lol
We all struggle with the balance of life, with people and situations, feelings and emotions that tie us to our surroundings. Once in a while you get a balance that is balanced and sweet, you want to stay there but you know it won't last so the best you can hope for is make the best of it and hope for another time like that one. For me I want that balance, that sweet spot in life where the balance of the hard and the good come together and make a nice place to be.
And you wonder that if you make that choice you are facing will it get you closer to that place of sweetness, you wonder........The pursuit of happiness is worth the ups and downs life throws at you. I won't stop trying to get there. One more step, one more choice, one more smile, one more day, always moving forward looking, learning, feeling...............................................
You feel it in your chest that you want to make a decision but afraid to admit it to yourself that it would be good to do so. For me the decision would mean I accept the past as it is and welcome the future as it may be. WOW that sounded like it came from a sermon in church....weird.
But anyway, the feelings it all brings on is all over the spectrum of emotions. Change for me is hard, I have done a lot better since I have put my mind to it but it comes at a price. That price is letting go letting what happens happen (In the church world it would go like this "Let go and Let God"). In other words leave in God's hands to work out the future and let go of the past because it can't help you anymore.
We don't know what tomorrow holds, we want certain things to be there but it is not a guarantee for us. What we do have is now, and what we do with now will eventually lead into tomorrow. So without knowing how tomorrow will unfold I like to try to hang on to today. That doesn't always work, because today's stuff might not work tomorrow so therefore change is needed to face tomorrow. Yuk....that word, at least it is not a four letter word. lol
We all struggle with the balance of life, with people and situations, feelings and emotions that tie us to our surroundings. Once in a while you get a balance that is balanced and sweet, you want to stay there but you know it won't last so the best you can hope for is make the best of it and hope for another time like that one. For me I want that balance, that sweet spot in life where the balance of the hard and the good come together and make a nice place to be.
And you wonder that if you make that choice you are facing will it get you closer to that place of sweetness, you wonder........The pursuit of happiness is worth the ups and downs life throws at you. I won't stop trying to get there. One more step, one more choice, one more smile, one more day, always moving forward looking, learning, feeling...............................................
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Today
Today, what do you think about when you say the word "Today"? Does your list of todo's go through your mind? Does the challenges or the joy of what is planned for Today cross your thoughts? Do you dread facing it, what lies ahead? All kinds of scenarios can be talked about, it is for me the idea of where are we at when we face Today. I mean how are we inside when we get up in the morning and take our first look at the day called "Today".
The condition of our mental, spiritual, and emotional well being will determine how those first few moments will be when we look into the new day. Have we planned for this? Have we taken the time to prepare ourselves in some way to deal with it "Today" and what all is held in that short few hours that lay ahead of us?
If you are like me going into another day I take very little thought until I open my eyes and look at what is there. Except for when I have something special planned then I think about it all the time and can't wait until the time arrives. But generally preparing myself for the new day before it gets here doesn't take much thought.
So I have been thinking that if I do something different about how I approach the new "Today" maybe I can make it better regardless what it may hold. You know we have many facets about ourselves that affect how we handle things in our lives. If we look at the different parts of who we are and try to somehow make them more positive then our approach to "Today" may be more positive in nature.
What those parts of ourselves are may vary to the individual based on how we see ourselves. What our needs are, what makes us who we are, what we think makes us tick sort of speak.
What feeds us, our desires, wants, needs that we look for. What does make us want to look forward to tomorrow? Those things is what we need to look at and see what affects or alters the way we do or want those things in our lives.
Our preparation or lack thereof does affect how we handle what lies ahead for us. How much value we place on the new "Today" will depend on if we care or think about it. If the new "Today" has something special in store for us we tend to pay attention to the time that leads up to it. We do things different, we pay more attention to the details that lead up to to that moment. What if we incorporate a small portion of that thinking to how we approach every day. What benefit would be gain in doing so?
Would we make the day better, worse or no change at all? I think better, but how do we change our mindset toward that which we face? I don't think it is easy to apply changes that stick into everyday routines we have. We do it when it is important to us, but when that importance's fades so do the changes. We loose the reason to hold to the changes and we slowly fade back to the way we were because it is what we do. There is no effort to maintain who we are and what we do everyday.
What takes effort is to change a little piece of us and keep in focus long enough so that it becomes second nature to us. I heard it said that if you can incorporate a change for 21 days then it becomes habit or routine in our lives. I think maybe it takes longer than that if you are stubborn like I am but the idea is there. Do it long enough so that you can see the benefit and know that it is worth keeping and you will.
What those changes are is purely up to you, one thing I do know is that unless you examine where you are and where you want to go you will never get there. Whether it is for yourselves or someone else you have to decide. No one else can decide for you. Because if someone else decides for you the change will not last no matter what.
This is a thought and one that I want to develop more.
James
The condition of our mental, spiritual, and emotional well being will determine how those first few moments will be when we look into the new day. Have we planned for this? Have we taken the time to prepare ourselves in some way to deal with it "Today" and what all is held in that short few hours that lay ahead of us?
If you are like me going into another day I take very little thought until I open my eyes and look at what is there. Except for when I have something special planned then I think about it all the time and can't wait until the time arrives. But generally preparing myself for the new day before it gets here doesn't take much thought.
So I have been thinking that if I do something different about how I approach the new "Today" maybe I can make it better regardless what it may hold. You know we have many facets about ourselves that affect how we handle things in our lives. If we look at the different parts of who we are and try to somehow make them more positive then our approach to "Today" may be more positive in nature.
What those parts of ourselves are may vary to the individual based on how we see ourselves. What our needs are, what makes us who we are, what we think makes us tick sort of speak.
What feeds us, our desires, wants, needs that we look for. What does make us want to look forward to tomorrow? Those things is what we need to look at and see what affects or alters the way we do or want those things in our lives.
Our preparation or lack thereof does affect how we handle what lies ahead for us. How much value we place on the new "Today" will depend on if we care or think about it. If the new "Today" has something special in store for us we tend to pay attention to the time that leads up to it. We do things different, we pay more attention to the details that lead up to to that moment. What if we incorporate a small portion of that thinking to how we approach every day. What benefit would be gain in doing so?
Would we make the day better, worse or no change at all? I think better, but how do we change our mindset toward that which we face? I don't think it is easy to apply changes that stick into everyday routines we have. We do it when it is important to us, but when that importance's fades so do the changes. We loose the reason to hold to the changes and we slowly fade back to the way we were because it is what we do. There is no effort to maintain who we are and what we do everyday.
What takes effort is to change a little piece of us and keep in focus long enough so that it becomes second nature to us. I heard it said that if you can incorporate a change for 21 days then it becomes habit or routine in our lives. I think maybe it takes longer than that if you are stubborn like I am but the idea is there. Do it long enough so that you can see the benefit and know that it is worth keeping and you will.
What those changes are is purely up to you, one thing I do know is that unless you examine where you are and where you want to go you will never get there. Whether it is for yourselves or someone else you have to decide. No one else can decide for you. Because if someone else decides for you the change will not last no matter what.
This is a thought and one that I want to develop more.
James
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