I sit here wondering about what to do next. Have you ever been there, faced with choices and not sure how to take the next step. You want to but not sure when and how. Trying to figure out how your life will change once you do. I know it all sounds so ambiguious at best with no details of what I am talking about. Well, let's keep it that way for now. I just want to talk about the situation not the content.
You feel it in your chest that you want to make a decision but afraid to admit it to yourself that it would be good to do so. For me the decision would mean I accept the past as it is and welcome the future as it may be. WOW that sounded like it came from a sermon in church....weird.
But anyway, the feelings it all brings on is all over the spectrum of emotions. Change for me is hard, I have done a lot better since I have put my mind to it but it comes at a price. That price is letting go letting what happens happen (In the church world it would go like this "Let go and Let God"). In other words leave in God's hands to work out the future and let go of the past because it can't help you anymore.
We don't know what tomorrow holds, we want certain things to be there but it is not a guarantee for us. What we do have is now, and what we do with now will eventually lead into tomorrow. So without knowing how tomorrow will unfold I like to try to hang on to today. That doesn't always work, because today's stuff might not work tomorrow so therefore change is needed to face tomorrow. Yuk....that word, at least it is not a four letter word. lol
We all struggle with the balance of life, with people and situations, feelings and emotions that tie us to our surroundings. Once in a while you get a balance that is balanced and sweet, you want to stay there but you know it won't last so the best you can hope for is make the best of it and hope for another time like that one. For me I want that balance, that sweet spot in life where the balance of the hard and the good come together and make a nice place to be.
And you wonder that if you make that choice you are facing will it get you closer to that place of sweetness, you wonder........The pursuit of happiness is worth the ups and downs life throws at you. I won't stop trying to get there. One more step, one more choice, one more smile, one more day, always moving forward looking, learning, feeling...............................................
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Not sure what you are talking about, but it sounds like you are not ready to let go of your past...Keep in mind that you can not relieve your past and you might let something great get away from you because you hanging on to something that will never be right again... or maybe that someone that you not sure you are ready to let go of.. As I said I'm not sure what you are talking about but I think you need to look at your past and separate the good memories from the bad.. find a special place in your heart and keep the good ones safe... because no matter who comes in and out of your life they can not take those wonderful memories away from you...Now the bad ones you need to dispose of is not worth holding on to them .... Dont worry about your past, there's a reason why is called that.... I really enjoy this one ... Hopefully you will tell us what it is you are talking about on your next one.
ReplyDeleteI don't think it is that I am not ready to move on more like I am ready with hesitation. I don't know if that makes any sense. One of the things I do hang on to is the good memories, those make you strong, the bad only takes you down a notch or two and I have done my best to leave those where they lay, in the past. When something good is in front of me like it is now, I can't let that pass. I think that is why I write here the way I do so that I can see what is going on inside of me. This does help alot. I have decided and now I just need to make the step. I want to add to the good memories of my life and that is what lies in front of me now, another set of good memories in the making.......One more step, one more choice, one more smile, one more day, always moving forward looking, learning, feeling...............................................
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you really know where you going and you are ready to take that step to whatever it is that you have not told us... I hope everything works out and one day you will bring us up to date and let us know what the secret step is.... I look forward to reading your next post....
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